Sunday, November 25, 2007

Mother in Law Rant

Okay, first let me say that I love my mother in law. I know I'm very lucky that she is as wonderful as she is, but I'm human. She does things that drive me crazy. Especially when she's in my house (I don't mind when I'm in her house - after all it's her space, she can do what she wants).

#1 - I've told you my dishwasher sucks. You've seen dishes come out of it not clean - dishes that were cleaner when they went in (I basically use it as an autoclave these days). So for the love of God, don't just throw things in that aren't even wiped off. I swear - clumps of mashed potatoes are not going to wash off, they're just going to get distributed to everything else in the dishwasher. Same for pie crust. And dried on garlic cream cheese.

#2 - the dishwasher sucks. So don't put in things that are easy to handwash - like mixing bowls and pie plates.

#3 - your wrists are weak. We all know that. Please, please, please don't attempt to wash my heavy pottery mixing bowls. Yes, I know it's only a chip and it's on the outside and won't affect the use of it. Yes, I know it didn't crack through and it's still safe. I don't care. I've had it less than a year and it was a birthday present. I was already pissed with your son for using it to serve food but didn't say anything because that's why we got them.

#4 - your son and I don't drink coffee. We provide a coffee maker and coffee for you because we love you and know you need it. Please clean the grounds out of the maker before you leave. We don't drink coffee and I find it vomit inducing to have to mess with used grounds (I have no idea why, but I do).

My inlaws are gone and I just had to clean out the inside of my dishwasher because there were clumps of food in it. Have you ever taken the racks out and washed out your dishwasher? Yeah, it sucks great big donkey dicks.

Yes, my beautiful blue mixing bowl now has a HUGE chip out of it. Yes, we have part of the chip and can glue it in place but really, it's only part of the chip and looks worse with that in than out.

I'm so glad they're gone. I really prefer to visit people in their homes rather than mine. I'm very catlike in that manner.


Tanya Brown said...

My condolences. Even people we love can drive us straight up the bloody wall. Maybe that should be "especially people we love", because sometimes we feel we have to bite our tongues with them.

Green SAHM said...

Ugh! I hate it when dishes aren't rinsed well enough for my dishwasher. Are you sure we don't have the same machine? Actually mine does clean dishes adequately, but if you don't scrape enough, little tiny food particles go everywhere.

In fact, I recently had to clean out the door vent on mine. It had started leaking, and I found out that a gunked up door vent could be the cause. One of the nastiest smells ever! But the dishwasher cleans a little bit better now, and the leak vanished.