Miss

I've noticed lately that my kids call their teachers "Miss" not "Miss Lastname" but just "Miss". It vaguely bothered me but I couldn't quite put my finger on why it bothered me.

Then one day I was with them and they greeted their music teacher with "Mr. Lastname" and it finally hit me. Women, you see, are generic and can be referred to by a generica name. Men, on the other hand, are deserving of the courtesy of their identification and name. Even their coaches are not called "coach" but called "Coach Lastname".

I finally told my kids that if I was their teachers I'd call them "kid" every time they called me "Miss". They didn't quite get it so I explained that everyone deserved the courtesy of being given their proper identification. I asked them how they'd feel if they were called "kid" all the time. Of course they responded that they wouldn't mind, but I've noticed they do it a lot less lately.

Amazing how the patriarchy has infected every part of our world, even elementary school.

Blog against sexism day

So, I've been reading various blogs (Bitch Ph.D., Feministe, Redneck Mother, Mom 101 and Pandagon) and discover that today is Blog Against Sexism Day.

As a child, I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church. It was a big deal to them that women were not meant to teach men, women were NOT to be smarter than men, women were best kept at home. Unconsciously echoing Galileo's thoughts ("I do not think it is necessary to believe that the same God who has given us our senses, reason, and intelligence wished us to abandon their use, giving us by some other means the information that we could gain through them."), I would say "God wouldn't have made me this smart if he didn't intend for me to do something with it". This was considered almost as bad as blasphemy and I was told that God wanted me to submit, and he just made me smart so that I'd have more to sacrifice. Other people told me that God didn't give me my intelligence, but Satan did.

The Mother's Day I was pregnant with my first, I went to church with my mom. I've never sat through a more misogynisitc sermon (and that is saying A LOT). My husband was extremely offended. Basically, we were told that if we worked outside of the home we were neglecting our children, UNLESS, of course, we were like the preacher's wife and made sure that we were home when the kids got home from school.

At the time, we had all but decided that Mr. Gaia was going to be a stay at home dad. We were still trying to find a good daycare but were growing discouraged and realizing that we were not going to find the right daycare for us.

I walked out of that church, turned to my mom and said "Would it really be better for ME to stay at home, even though I SUCK at the childcare thing? Mr. Gaia is GOOD at it, why would it be better for me to be with the baby than him?" My mom looked me in the eye and said "Because God's plan is for you to stay home and be supported by your husband."

I lost all respect for my mother that day. All respect. At that point, I knew that it wasn't about what was best for my children or me, it was about what these people thought God wanted. And what my mom knew was that I made 50% more than Mr. Gaia and there is no way we could have lived on what Mr. Gaia made.

It became abundantly clear to me WHY women make less than men. Why women aren't equally represented in upper management. It's because there are enough people out there that believe women are supposed to stay home and care for the kids while their husbands support them. That believe that allowing a woman to make a living is actually perverting God's plan.

In this day and age

I really thought this shit had stopped.

In the delivery from school today, ie - the flyers, the notices, etc, was "Champs Camp 2007".

Done at the baptist church during spring break. $40 for the week and it's 8-5. This is cool, if we needed child care that week, I'd be all over it.

Until. I look at the list of activities and see: Basketball, swimming, volleyball, soccer, skating, golf, baseball (guys only), softball (girls only), tennis, aerobics/dance (girls only), football (guys only), arts & crafts, martial arts.

This is EXACTLY why I will not attend a baptist church. Why do they see the need to keep girls from playing baseball and football and boys from playing softball and doing aerobics/dance? My boy? Would love to do the aerobic/dance. As a kid, I would have wanted to play football and baseball. I HATED softball and dance. I would have been upset, the adults and kids would have teased and I would have had a meltdown (because of the teasing, not, as they would claim, because I couldn't do what I wanted). I would have spent the rest of the week being embarrassed by my meltdown, IF my mom or the organizers had let me go back. Hyperion is so much like me, it's not even funny.

Oh, and kids are required to participate in every sport (gender appropriate of course) so a girl who doesn't like softball is SOL, she's expected to participate. A boy who doesn't like football? Equally SOL.

Okay, seriously? Why can't girls play football? Because they might get hurt? And? Boys might get hurt too. Boys aren't tougher than girls when it comes to pain (who lives with menstrual cramps?). Boys aren't immune to getting hurt. If a girl chooses to take that risk, who should say it isn't her right?

And why shouldn't boys be in aerobic/dance? Are they afraid it will turn them gay?

I want to call and at least say "hey listen, I got your flier from the school and my daughter saw it and wants to play football, but it says "boys only". Is there a reason it's only for boys? Because my daughter really likes to play football with her dad and brothers and is pretty good at it." I'm just not sure I can do it without being insulting to them.