Friday, April 27, 2007

April 19

I wonder if there will ever come a time when I don't get that weepy, stone in my gut feeling when I read something about April 19?

I accidently saw the memorial in OKC twice while I lived there (stupid one way streets) and both times I had to pull over because I couldn't see.

I don't see how people who live in NYC can handle it. A major part of their skyline gone. I would cry all the time.

I don't know if it's something you just deal with and accept. I mean, eventually we get used to visiting places where departed loved ones lived and which necessarily remind us of them.

Mr. Gaia's family planned a trip to the memorial and couldn't understand my issue with it. I couldn't explain it myself. They're normally very accepting, so I was a bit surprised that they had such a problem with me not going. I told them Mr. Gaia had a cellphone, he could call me when they were done and I would meet them at their next activity, but still, somehow, I was spoiling their plans. Eventually (and this is how they are so different from my own family) we worked it out and they did their thing and I met them at the end. They even agreed with me that maybe it was a tad bit too much for a new mother (Hyperion was about 18 months old at this point). The pictures of the babies, etc.

Tanya has a post up with the most gorgeous pictures. Breathtaking, really. Including one of her son at a memorial for the children of April 19.


Tanya Brown said...

I'm so sorry.

I think maybe one of the things we, the living, can do is to remember and bear witness. I think there's some value to not becoming anaesthetized to horror, to not cruising by such memorials with the same nonchalance that we'd drive past a 7-Eleven. We can't undo the past, of course, but we can honor the dead and hurt and try to make wise choices for the present and the future. We can try to not live in denial about evil, regardless of the face it wears.

Gaia said...

Oh honey, don't be sorry. Your shots were beautiful and so worth it.

I think what I remember most from that day was how sure people were that it was done by muslims. It couldn't possibly have been done by americans. I was appalled at the racism I heard that day, I mean, I hadn't led the most sheltered life, but a lot of the slurs were completely new to me.

I think it was a very good thing that I graduated college 2.5 weeks after that and never had to see any of those a**holes again.