Make-up

Apparently there's now a tint for nipples. Geez, who knew there was a "right" color for nipples?

I don't even like to wear makeup on my face. I do it because it is expected in the office environment. I'm already bucking convention by refusing to wear pantyhose, I don't feel I can do it with makeup.

I know, I know, there is makeup that is so light you don't even feel it on your face. But damn, it's expensive. I want the cheapest shit I can find. I keep the bare minimum - blush, eyeshadow and foundation. No eyeliner, no lipstick (I am truly blessed in that my lips naturally look like I have on lipstick), no mascara, no concealer, etc. $5 for a single item is more than I want to spend.

I hate the way it rubs off and leaves residue on phone earpieces and smudges up my cellphone screen.

I hate the way it gets on clothes unless you're extremely careful.

I hate that it often ends up looking uneven because one side has rubbed off on the aforementioned items.

This, of course, doesn't mean that I think it's wrong if some women love it and love to play with it. If you love it, play with it to your heart's content. Just throw me a bone and sympathize with my hatred of it - okay?